T&A (Transitioning & Attractiveness)
I’m nonbinary, and I recently decided I want to medically transition. T&A is about my fear of departing from the one ideal of attractiveness I know I can conform to. It explores my relationship to my body and my attractiveness through puberty books I had as a kid, questionable standards I absorbed from the internet as a teenager, and relationships I’ve had more recently with other trans people.
The night after my [first doctor’s] appointment [about starting testosterone], an unexpected panic hit me. I was seized with the fear that by transitioning, I would make myself ugly and unattractive and ruin my body. […] What if I was throwing away the best parts of me? Whatever my physical shortcomings or deficits, I knew I could turn heads with the tits-and-ass crowd. And there I was, planning to get rid of my tits and straighten out my curves, reducing my pull with the only demographic that I knew for sure was into me.
Blush, Blossom, Bloom: A Zine About BPD, Imprinting, and Mad Queer Love
Blush, Blossom, Bloom is about an intense form of bonding called imprinting, which is experienced by some people with Borderline Personality Disorder, and my relationship with my current imprint, a queer femme crip mentor and friend who’s played a huge part in my survival and growth.
This zine is mostly prose, interspersed with quotes from my journal-blog to illustrate the feelings described. There’s one poem at the end, my personal all-time favorite thing I’ve written.
Disabled Artist Affirmations
Affirmations from one disabled artist to others, along with some related media recommendations.
While these affirmations are meant to be encouraging, they’re not entirely “positive” in the sense that many mainstream affirmations are. In my experience, affirmations are most powerful when they also acknowledge how unpleasant reality can be. I want affirmations that can meet me in the pit of hopelessness and despair to lift me up a little, not ones that ask me to wish or believe my way out.
I love you, disabled artists. Your art and your solidarity are vital to my well-being. I hope my affirmations can help you feel more secure in your beauty and your value.
Equal parts political statement and misandrist sleepover gossip, Man-Hating Bisexual is the story of how my sexuality has gradually shifted away from men, told through stories about the guys I’ve dated or almost dated (and one girl I didn’t realize I wanted to date).
Man-Hating Bisexual includes helpful material such as a thorough breakdown of my definitions of bisexuality and pansexuality and statements of why claiming bi matters to me and how my man-hating bisexuality works.
Empty Gender, Full Bladder
A zine about the difficulties of using all-gender bathrooms on a campus that has far too few, in a cissexist world where people don’t really see what the point is anyway. This zine uses documentary photography, prose, poetry, paper cutouts, collage, humor, and wordplay to weave together a narrative about my daily struggles.
Today’s Identity of the Day Is…
#1: My first zine, a collection of poetry and visual art. It’s mainly about disability and abuse, with a side of (a)gender and (bi/pan/a)sexuality.
#2: Transitions: an ode to autumn and a discussion of all the changes in my life in the year prior, including finding incredible community, changing my pronouns, realizing new things about my dis/ability, and taking on a femme identity.